Advocates for Children of Same Sex Couples
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HOW THIS JOURNEY BEGAN
HOW THIS JOURNEY BEGAN
The Beginning — 2004
This is when our relationship began. At the time, she had a 1-year-old son, and I had a 14-year-old son. We originally met as friends, while she was pregnant and in another relationship. I was at the hospital the day her son was born — I’ve known him since birth.
Three years later, we made the decision to grow our family. Through home insemination with a known donor, we conceived our daughter. I named her, cut her umbilical cord, and was the first person to hold her. From the very beginning, she and I shared an unbreakable bond.
We were together for seven years, until 2011. I ended the relationship after enduring years of emotional abuse — constant accusations of infidelity, betrayal, and suspicion that drained me mentally and emotionally.
Despite the split, we agreed to co-parent. I was a dedicated and fully involved parent from day one. Our daughter was four at the time, and her brother was eight. This was a difficult and painful transition for everyone — especially the children. My home had been their only home, surrounded by a loving community and their older brother, whom they adored.
The Collapse of Co-Parenting
Shortly after she began a new relationship, things changed drastically. I was told to "walk away." But how could I? What parent does that?
She stopped allowing the kids to visit me. I did everything I could just to be near them — showing up weekly at dance class and hockey practices. But the threats escalated: if I didn’t disappear from their lives, she would take legal action.
And she did.
Because I was not a biological parent — despite raising them — she filed for a restraining order under Florida’s stalking statutes. In 2012, the court granted it. I had never committed violence. I had never stalked her. But under the law, being a non-biological parent in a same-sex relationship gave her that power.
Stalking, in legal terms, is grouped under domestic violence — even in the absence of any actual violence.
Fast Forward to 2025
It’s been 13 years. Both children are now over 18. And yet, the restraining order remains. I have recently filed a motion to have it removed permanently.
In the years since, here is what I’ve endured:
She took my children away from me.
She dragged me through court multiple times.
I’ve been treated like a criminal at every hearing.
She drained my bank accounts after the breakup.
She broke into my home eight months after moving out — stealing my computer, files, house keys, social security cards, and more.
I was recently arrested — again — for violating this outdated, unjust restraining order.
All of this — and yet the legal system silences my parenthood, brands me a threat, and continues to punish me for trying to stay in my children’s lives.
THIS, my friends, is why Rainbow Kids Promise matters.
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